Heart of Choice
<BODY><script> (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i['GoogleAnalyticsObject']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,'script','//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga'); ga('create', 'UA-47423994-1', 'fortunecity.ws'); ga('send', 'pageview'); </script> <center> <br> <div> <script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://ad.broadcaststation.net/ads/show_ad.php?width=728&height=90"></script> </div> </center> <EMBED SRC="sound/GeminiDream.html" BORDER="0" HIDDEN="true" AUTOSTART="true" LOOP="2"><IMG SRC="file:///C|/Website/Master/master/graphics/spacer.gif" WIDTH="1" HEIGHT="1"> <CENTER> <H1>Heart of Choice</H1></CENTER> <BLOCKQUOTE> <P ALIGN="LEFT"><I>Having feelings and acting on them are two very different things, and it is crucial to understand the difference.</I><BR> <FONT SIZE="-1">Cheri Huber and Melinda Guyol, Time-Out for Parents</FONT></P> <P>There is a fine line between expressing emotion and taking it out on the person 'to blame'. Aggressively attacking someone, either physically or verbally, while in a fit of anger is not expressing anything. Many people when they get on a spiritual path know this and so they immediately head to the opposite end of the spectrum. This is the "I'm too spiritually advanced to feel anger" phase. They deny any feelings that are not ' from Love'. The feelings are still there. </P> <P>So from inappropriate expressions of emotions to denial, is there no middle ground? Yes, the first step is by keeping off the emotional roller coaster of others. For me, this seems to be the most difficult. I find myself with people in my life whom I react with, then wonder: 'what happened?'</P> <P>I hear the impatience in their tone, the anger in their words, the rigidness, the disconnection. Those same feelings live in me. The next moment, I feel impatient, anger, rigid, and out of touch. These are the times I think teaching English in Korea is a good idea. </P> <P>The easiest response for me is to blame someone else. It is your fault. Because of you, I feel angry, impatient, hurt, guilty, deserted, broke, alone, rejected. The Big Lie. I choose to feel what I feel. Nobody makes me feel anything. The Big Truth, even if it doesn't look or feel that way. The Big Lie leads to 'victim status achieved'. The Big Truth leads to empowerment. The problem is we were all taught the Big Lie.</P> <P>Let me tell you about a young woman who decided to choose what she felt. She lives in the Okanagan Valley. Every week she goes to the local pharmacy to fill a prescription for pain. She is happily married with two beautiful children. The prescription is so strong that she could not function if she took it. She told me that she only took it at night. Watching her, I was amazed at how pleasant her manner is, how calm she was with her children. No one would ever know how much pain she was in. </P> <P>As a child she had fallen out of a tree and broke her neck. No one knew. Her neck healed wrong. The result was a nerve pinched. Now to fix it would require surgery and a 60% chance of paralysis. So she lives with the pain. Now I know how I act when I get a paper cut, let alone a major problem. I asked her how she could be so happy and cheerful, living with her pain. She told me that there was nothing she could do about the suffering, but there was a lot she could do about her reaction to her pain. She chose to live her life.</P> <P>She did not blame anyone in her childhood for her broken neck. She was not bitter at the hand fate dealt her. She did not wallow in her pain. She chose to live in the moment. She lives the Big Truth.</P> <P>Can I do any less?</P> <P><A HREF="main.htm">Home</A></P> <P ALIGN="RIGHT"><FONT SIZE="-2">©1998 Scott Paton All Rights Reserved</FONT></P></BLOCKQUOTE> </BODY>