Barren Heart
<BODY><script> (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i['GoogleAnalyticsObject']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,'script','//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga'); ga('create', 'UA-47423994-1', 'fortunecity.ws'); ga('send', 'pageview'); </script> <center> <br> <div> <script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://ad.broadcaststation.net/ads/show_ad.php?width=728&height=90"></script> </div> </center> <EMBED SRC="../sound/brothers_in_arms.mid" AUTOSTART="true" LOOP="2" HIDDEN="TRUE"> <CENTER> <H1>Barren Heart</H1></CENTER> <BLOCKQUOTE> <P>Success Requires No Explanations Failure Permits No Alibis. From the life long studies of Napolean Hill </P> <P>What times I live in. Countries test their ability to destroy the planet. Children run around firing guns at each other. Thousands of lonely souls cry out for love.</P> <P>Napolean Hill writes that everything has a price. There is never something for nothing. I want something for nothing. All I have ever got for nothing is…Nothing. And I so desperately want everything to work out the way I want them to work out.</P> <P>I firmly believe that my life is created through the thoughts I think. I believe that if I say so, it is so. So why don't I have all that I want in my life? Because I am not willing to pay the price, and I guess there is a difference between saying so and wishing it were so.</P> <P>I was angry last week. I was sick and tired of the lack of money in my life. So I decided this month I was going to make $10,000. In my moment of anger, I was willing to pay the price. I was determined. We will see how long it lasts.</P> <P>So the next day, all my issues around money came down like an avalanche. All I could think about is why do I have to write about this? Why do I have to tell 30,000 plus people what a financial failure I feel I am? Because there is a difference between who I feel I am and who I truly am. What times I live in. </P> <P>I believe that if I take down my mask of financial success, no one will like me. My self-worth is tied up in dollar bills. Am I alone here? I am discovering a lot of beliefs around my financial status. Some word association: No Money, No Women. No Money, No Friends. No Money, No Fun. No Money, High Stress. No Money, No Marriage. No Money, No Home. No Money, No Food. No Money, No Travel. So why would I want No Money?</P> <P>Punishment. Guilty, your Honour. Not understanding. Not reliable. No Money, No Choice.</P> <P>It has been a year and I am still beating myself up for the failure of my marriage. </P> <P>When will I stop? Perhaps, when I look at my marriage and see two wonderful, talented, loving sons instead of failure. Perhaps, when I look at my marriage and see twelve years of adventure instead of one of separation. Perhaps., when I look at my marriage and see opportunities to grow in love, instead of stagnation.</P> <P>Perhaps, I can do it one small step at a time, instead of 'arriving' instantaneously.</P> <P>Perhaps, I can do it with Love, instead of Fear.</P> <P><FONT SIZE="-1">©1998 Scott Paton All Rights Reserved.</FONT></P></BLOCKQUOTE> </BODY>